Friday, October 27, 2006

Thank God... And No Offence Intended

I've just sat down here with the required cup of tea and am toying with what to write. In my mind, for some reason, is a shouldn't-really-be-called-a-poem that I wrote a few years ago, entitled 'Today I feel like an arse* again!' I only showed this ridiculous combination of words to one friend a fairly long time ago and that just added to the sentiment expressed in the title! I can remember times past when at the end of many a day I would think back over things I'd said and things I'd done, analyse the wotsit out of them, and feel like a complete idiot. I was talking to a younger someone about this recently... and realised that either through increasing (not that much, I hasten to add) age or growing and journeying with God - and most likely a combination of the two - I don't torture myself anymore. It's wonderful to get to a place where you can accept your mistakes, you can let people think of you what they want to think of you, being more concerned about Christ and what he thinks, where you can get to the end of a day and pray through, with God, the things that embarrass or concern you instead of wrapping them round a big stick and beating yourself up with them? I think I finally started believing in God's acceptance and love of me, in his ability to take the rubbish I produce at times and make something of it and in the truly miraculous concepts of forgiveness, change and new starts. I don't think I've stopped to thank him for a while... so I'll do that now.

*in case it's absolutely necessary, in this context, arse = absolute bloomin' idiot, or something along those lines!


At October 27, 2006 11:35 am, Anonymous Ophelia said...

Hi Chelley,

It's Ophelia from the Ship. I laughed outloud when I saw the title of the poem. I do that all the time. Sometimes I torture my self in to sleeplessness, others I'm fine. Depends on what state of mind I'm in I guess. My mum has a poem about that sort of thing on her kitchen wall, the last line of which is "it was only ever between you and Him, anyway."
Anyway, good entry!

At October 28, 2006 1:58 am, Anonymous Steve said...

It's funny, I read all this earlier and just came back to have another look at it, and realised how very relevant it is for me today! I've done some arsey things, but God understands and forgives, so there's no need for me to go to bed feeling like an arse.

Chelley, you talk much sense. God bless you, and may you continue to grow in the knowledge of His acceptance of you.

At October 28, 2006 8:42 am, Anonymous chelley said...

Thank you both so much for wandering by, and for your comments. I'm so glad you found it helpful - after all my umming and ahhing over whether to post it! Ophelia/Beth - hope you find yourself feeling less and less that way and more and more able to hand him the things that you torture yourself with (and glad you enjoyed the title!).
And Steve, thanks for your help with the editing earlier ;) and for the encouragement, which is much appreciated.


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